Following her Whim!

It is so important to seize the moment when your mother is on Hospice. She told me how nice it would be to go for a ride to where she used to work. The outdoor temperature was in the high 90's and the air was humid with threats of rain. My husband helped me load her oxygen,portable nebulizer & medications in the SUV. She and I sat in the back seat so I could observe her breathing and condition. Daddy talked about his memories of many rides to work on the old Hwy 10 to Jackson, La.. They both laughed about when in the 1940's , Hwy 10 was gravel and rains would flood the road. When we drove by the tall brick structure covered now with ivy and vines, mamma pointed to a screen door and told me that used to be the entrance to her apartment when she first went to work at CC1. She showed me where the bench had sat where daddy first held her hand. We had a "picnic" in the car since mamma was too weak to get out in the weather or go inside a restaurant.
I can now look back and know how happy it made her for us to follow her whim to go down memory lane.
v. 14 " When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future." Ecclesiastes 7 :14 NAS Life Application Study Bible

Strength To The Weary

I am delighted to finally find a site that writes about the role of being the caregiver for others. Caregiving.com has expanded my opportunities to share not only my stories, but to respond to those from all walks of life who have found a venue for expression of cares and concerns of caregiving. Fears, fatigue, physical and emotional stress and the unknowns that are yet to be faced are things that caregivers feel safe in expressing. This week on their home page, I requested membership in a group called Christian Caregiving  and felt blessed to be welcomed into this group.  I make it through each day by the grace of God.


v.28 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom. 
v.29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
v.30 Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
v.31 but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint. Isaiah 41: 28-31 NIV Life Application Study Bible

Family Love- Fruitful Efforts

It was humorous to watch the antics of my daddy as he jumped up, as quickly and unsteadily as most 90 year olds, from the dining room table to grab a string hanging through the window.  He began jerking the string and asking mamma if she saw anything flying out of their fig tree. I couldn’t help but ask what they were doing. Daddy said he was determined to scare the redbirds away from his figs. He had tied a piece of an old wind chime to the end of the string in the fig tree. When he pulled the string the chimes rang in the tree.  I moved to the window and noticed that he had tied strips of black plastic to the string where it stretched across the yard to the fig tree. He said he had to put the plastic ties on the string so no one would run into it.  I think the birds only temporarily leave the fig tree long enough to fly over to the corn daddy has put out for the doves. When they are full of their vegetable, they fly back over for their fruit.  Only daddy could grow a twenty foot tall fig tree twenty five foot across filled with beautiful plump ripe figs and redbirds. I was blessed with sweet figs for supper.

V1 “Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners, or sit in the seat of mockers. V2 But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law, he meditates day and night. V3 He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yield its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.” Psalm 1:1-3 NIV Life Application Study Bible

Daddy called about 8:30 PM Saturday night to let me know he could not go to church Sunday morning. I asked if he was sick since he never missed church. He said he had to pick the figs. I told him to plan to go to church and I would pick the figs. At about 7 AM Sunday morning, I began picking figs and it wasn’t long before my husband came with his helpful hands and several buckets. We went up under the branches, stretched limbs down for each other to pick and after about an hour, we had four gallons of figs.  I knew to take them on home with me so mamma would not feel she had to start stemming them. We were both drenched with sweat from the high temperature. I quickly went into the kitchen and salted fresh tomatoes for Sonny and myself. That helped replenish and refresh us. I washed each fig, carefully sorting any that seemed to ripe or green then placing them single layer on towels to dry while we went to church. I called mamma to let her know we would be by at our usual time to pick up daddy. I told her about the beautiful figs and that I would prepare them after church for freezing. She asked if I thought I would have time to help her prepare the ripe tomatoes for freezing. Of course, I said, “Yes” without hesitation.  Church was a blessing and I thought of how blessed I am to have aged parents who are still so capable and desiring of taking advantage of the bounty God willing provides.

Preparing tomatoes had to meet with mamma’s expectation. She wanted to peel them all. I suggested that I boil water in which to submerge the tomatoes long enough until the skin began to pop. She insisted on helping even though she was struggling as usual to breath. I suggested that she and daddy sit at the table where I would plunge the boiled tomatoes in ice water and she could wear her oxygen while peeling off the skin. She agreed and we began the assembly line. Actually, I think everyone was enjoying themselves as we steadily worked through the ripe red harvest of three varieties of tomatoes. After about an hour, I squeezed the large bowl of tomatoes, removing any tough centers or green remnants. The bowl was soon full of enough prepared tomatoes to fill six freezer bags with 2 ½ cups each.  Mamma and daddy smiled as they looked at the tomatoes placed into the freezer.

There are many days when I feel incapable of pleasing my parents when I must run to the arms of my Lord Jesus for comfort and reassurance.  Today I feel that I have done my very best to show my love to them and I feel good about the results.

v. 4 Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load.” Galatians 6: 4-5 NIV Life Application Study Bible

Praise to the Lord-He watches over all who love Him

Even in the shade the Louisiana temperature blazed above 100 degrees and the slightest breeze felt like a heater.  At 3 PM as I picked up my keys to leave work, my cell phone flashed a call from mamma. Since she is terminally ill, I answered immediately. She told me it was 84 degrees in their house and the air conditioner had broken earlier in the day. I told her to go into the bedroom where the window unit could cool her and daddy and that I would be home as soon as possible. I called my husband to meet me at my parent’s house and called the air conditioner repair service. I reached their house in 12 minutes to find mamma sitting in the bedroom under the ceiling fan, drenched with perspiration, very pale and laboring to breath. Even though daddy was in the room with the air conditioner, he seemed dazed and his skin was clammy and pale. The caregiver said he had been outside picking vegetables and became overheated. She had given him milk with sugar in it to bring his blood sugar up from the extremely subnormal level of 45. While I convinced mamma to come with me to my car, the caregiver fixed daddy more sugared milk.  Mamma walked slowly to my car using her rolling walker with me carrying her oxygen cylinder. She sat in the cool car breathing her oxygen while I ran back into the house and checked daddy’s blood sugar again. It had risen to 85, which is still very low.  He said he felt better  was no longer seeing dots before his eyes. My husband arrived and stayed with daddy while I drove mamma to my house to get her cooled off. Thankfully, the caregiver delivered mamma’s oxygen concentrator to my house and helped get it connected because the cylinder had run out of oxygen.  Daddy insisted that my husband climb up in the attic to see if the AC drain pan had gotten stopped up. The drain pan was dry, but the heat from the attic  increased the temperature in the house even more. While I hurriedly cooked supper, mamma quietly glanced through a stack of books to choose one to read. The AC was soon repaired at their house and she immediately wanted to go back home. However, when daddy and my husband came to eat supper, she agreed to stay. In addition to the meal and the now calm atmosphere around the supper table, we had many wonderful blessings for which we thanked God. 

V3 “Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom. V4 One generation will commend your works to another; they will tell of your mighty acts. V5 They will speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty; and I will meditate on your wonderful works.  V6 They will tell of the power of your awesome works; and I will proclaim your great deeds. V7 They will celebrate your abundant goodness; and joyfully sing of your righteousness.”  Psalm 145:3-7 NIV Life Application Study Bible

Living in Love

I hesitated in a protective mode. It was going to be in the upper 90 degree range Thursday evening and I just had difficulty accepting that mamma wanted to go to the wake. There are many times I must overcome the worry and fear for her and just allow her to make her own decisions. After all, her close friend had died and "respects" should be paid. Mamma said it was the right thing to do. I wanted to say that she was too weak, too short of breath, and that she might have to walk a long distance to get inside. I did not say any of those things. I drove mamma and daddy to the wake. Mamma was glad to speak with her friend's family and recall events of their childhood.She spoke of the friendship she and her friend had shared through many years. She paid her respects and we drove home. Mamma said. "Thank you." I hugged her and was glad to know God had carried me through the fire.

 v 16 "And so we know and rely on the love of God. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him." v. 17 "In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him." v18. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4: 16-18

Terminal Shopper

At 88 years of age and in a state hospice calls terminal, mamma requested to be driven to the “Dollar General” store so she could pick up a few things.  First, there had to be a mental note of everything necessary for her well- being on the “Road Trip” The portable nebulizer to ensure that she received her breathing treatment on time was plugged into the vehicle charger. The two tubes of the breathing medication for the nebulizer had to be kept out of light until she was ready for the treatment. A cylinder of oxygen was connected to the oxygen tubing and placed on the floorboard where she sat, along with another full cylinder in the back floorboard. She had agreed that it seemed more practical to be pushed around the store in her wheelchair rather than using her rolling walker. Getting the wheelchair into the 4Runner the evening prior to the trip proved to be more than I should have attempted alone.  Pulled muscles across my shoulders and another in my middle back convinced me that my husband should come “Along for the ride.”  The Hospice nurse had helped me accept that mamma might think she was more capable of doing things that she actually lacked strength to complete.  However, mamma made up her mind and there was to be no diverting her attention from her plan.

There has never been such a trip. Mamma wanted to examine every item on all shelves. My husband pushed the cart while I pushed the wheelchair. He had fixed a nice holder onto the wheelchair in which to secure the oxygen bottle. After having selected items from every department of the store, and having picked out all five items on her list, we headed for the checkout line about two hours after entering the store.  While I stared at the clerk when she said $279, mamma, a type 2 diabetic, was happily eating a candy bar off the shelf next to where we had parked her wheelchair. My dear husband loaded everything into the 4 runner and off we went to the restaurant where mamma decided she had plenty strength to go inside for her meal rather than getting take-out.  With oxygen bottle in hand, mamma walked inside to a table with me holding her arm because we did not have her cane or walker and we felt it was almost too much to ask my husband to get that wheelchair out and into the vehicle again.

Overall, it was a great day and she did not get too exhausted. My husband and I unloaded all the purchases and put them into cabinets, freezer and refrigerator.  Later, after I awoke from a four hour nap, I phoned to be sure mamma had not been excessively fatigued. She said she had taken a brief nap and after she got up, she had made me a list for when I might go to town again.

V9 “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly for my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. V 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

The Wife of Noble Character

My dad's garden is beginning to produce fresh tomatoes, cucumbers, squash, green beans and potatoes. He amazes himself and everyone around him that he still has his green thumb at the age of 90.  He loves to share with the neighbors. The interesting thing is that he believes my daughter and I can cook, freeze or can all of the various produce just the way my mother has always done. Does food ever taste as good as our mother's cooking? My mother has cooked 3 meals a day for 65 years of marriage and knows more recipes by heart than I could find in a dozen cookbooks.  I love the scriptures in Proverbs 31:5 about "The Wife of Noble Character."  V. 10: "A wife of noble character ", who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.v. 11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value."
My mother truly is the example of the wife who has never been afraid of work, has respect for her husband and shows love, kindness and respect for others.  My prayer is that God will v. 31 "Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."

Trees for the Future !

He gave me a brief handwritten note. He asked me to mail the note to Arbor Day Foundation from which he was expecting ten trees promised when he had made an initial contribution. The foundation had notified him that they would mail the trees when the season for planting was right for our area of the country.  In his note he explained that he was 90 years old, had planted pines and oaks throughout his life in the south, he knew it was the season to plant and he wanted his trees. Luckily, I forgot to mail the note. When I drove to my parent's home the next afternoon,  my daddy was standing by his golf cart, raking moist dirt into a hole he had dug for planting a tree. The ten trees had arrived. He had dug six two foot deep holes and planted six of the trees. I was there for the planting of the sixth tree. He said he was going to bank the last four trees for another day.. He asked me to read the tags on each tree and tell him how large they would grow. He said his back hurt bad and he could not bend down to see the tree tags. He drove his golf cart over to get water and fertilizer to apply to each tree.  He told me that if somebody didn't begin to plant some trees, there would not be any oxygen for the next generation. I love his old fashioned faithfulness to preparing for the future. Daddy has always been one of those green thumb planters that could plant a stick and it would come to life. About 15 years ago, he planted a pine tree forest, stating it would be for the next generation. Those trees are now enormous and have been thinned twice. I truly hope he lives to see these six little trees grow tall and straight along with his grandchildren.
"He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers." Psalm 1:3 NIV

Aging-Determined

Loving the aged has been my speciality for over 20 years as a registered nurse certified in gerontological nursing by The American Nursing Association. Loving my aged parents has brought  more blessings and tears than any certification. Their strengh of character, steadfastness to their christian values, and determination to stay together in their own home has given me great insight into aging. Nursing colleagues agree with me that there should be a care plan for baby boomers to deal with the trials and joys of caring for their aging parents. Maintaining their home life can bring comfort to the caregiver along with a measure of anxiety. Let's take nutrition as an example. First, there is a continual searching of their kitchen pantry to know what needs to be replaced since they can't remember what has been used or what is needed for preparation of future healthy meals. Mamma at 87 has begun to have very low tolerance for standing to cook and is now willing to eat some food taken to her by me and my daughter. She asks us to pick up some frozen meals which are quick if her or daddy's blood sugar drops. She does not want any meals with green beans because they are too tough, mushrooms because they are slick,  shrimp because they do not come from Louisiana, fish because it is not catfish from their pond, white potatoes because they run their sugar too high, pasta because it is not enough to be filling. That rules out 98% of the frozen meals and makes me overlook the possibility of daddy falling in the turnip patch. After all, at 90 he has learned to cook turnips his way when mamma is too weak. Therein lies the question of , "What is better, Quality of Life or Safety? "

Mamma's Simple Surgery

The podiatrist said it would be a simple procedure to release the tendons beneath the three toes on mamma's left foot. He had determined the procedure to be necessary to prevent her toes from being pulled further downward. She is diabetic and did not need to endure the damages posed by the toes ulcerating from rubbing her shoe.The doctor felt it would be safer for her to enter the outpatient surgical center, have the procedure in a sterile setting, and return home the same day. Due to her chronic respiratory condition, she could not undergo general anesthesia, so the anesthesiologist performed a "block" behind her left knee. Surgery of any type for an 87 year old should be undertaken only after serious consideration and I naturally had many questions. After surgery, I asked the podiatrist how long her foot would remain numb and he said about 12 hours. When 24 hours passed, her leg was still numb and she still remained bed bound due to her inability to stand Even though her foot was warm with a good pulse and the dressing was dry, I knew it was time to contact the physician.  The podiatrist told me her foot would likely take longer to regain feeling due to her age and slower metabolism.  After 36 hours, her leg and foot regained normal feeling. Mamma laughed when my daughter used the rolling walker to move her to the rocker where she relaxed with her morning coffee. I always marvel at the indomitable spirit of my mother.
Psalm 89:16-17 "In thy name shall they rejoice all the day: and in thy righteousness shall they be exalted." 17 " "For thou art the glory of their strength."

Baby Softens The Fall!

Daddy was standing without his cane by the mailbox  at the road below the hill in front of their country home. He had ridden in the golf cart with his bob tailed terrier to get the mail. The dog had been a skinny mistreated animal until he was  picked up by the environmental services supervisor at my work and brought in to see if anyone might want him. I had immediately thought of daddy who had lost his old pet recently. The little dog's name was originally  Jackson, shortened to Jack by daddy and later renamed  "Baby".  Jackson is now a happy fat "Baby" who travels through  wooded farm trails with daddy in the golf cart and frequently keeps him company until one of the family can get the golf cart off a fallen log. Baby also gives daddy numerous opportunities to fall face forward while daddy bends to pick up litter scattered all over the yard. If Baby cannot locate anything to chew on, he has been known to visit my house and borrow my husband's boot from the porch to drag back as a present to daddy. Baby has chewed up my granddaughter's cat's toys and eaten her dog's food.  Shouldn't we all contribute something to keeping daddy's baby fat and happy? There is always the possibility that if daddy forgets his cane or walker and falls again, Baby will cushion his fall.

Healthy Living and Vegetables

Morning by morning new mercies I see. I drive to work praying and watching the sunrise split the sky like a gateway to heaven.  In the evening after work I visit my parents for a short but often sweet time. Thankfully, they are both able to think coherently, make their own decisions and keep all of the family busy. Mamma at 87 knows many healthy recipes for maintaining good nutrition for diseases with which they both must deal, diabetes and hypertension. Daddy, at 90 years old, gardens to grow the vegetables which they enjoy.  Raw banana peppers, green onions and fresh tomatoes are part of the daily fare, while southern cooked turnips are their favorite. Gardening gives daddy great opportunities for outdoor activities. Unstable on his feet, he often scares us when sprawling face first across the garden or tripping over a root. Mamma  not only has learned about diabetic cooking, she also knows that looking out the window toward the garden can be anxiety provoking. She maintains her calm by being sure daddy wears his emergency call button around his neck and carries his walkie talkie with him. After all, they must have fresh vegetables to stay young.